BAKE 16 – MAY 24, 2020

Yeast Utilized: 1 1/2 teaspoon

I wanted a recipe I could leave to rest overnight, so I decided to do the bagel recipe that my friend sent me weeks ago. But boy, howdy, bagels are high maintenance.

I put on the audio book of “Last Smile in Sunder City” by Luke Arnold (because he has a soothing voice) and got to work. First step, making that sponge and I immediately diverted from the recipe like everyone I judge on baking competition shows. Rather than using only bleached flour, I chose to use my whole wheat flour for half of it.

The recipe says it should look like thick pancake batter. Yes…?

After the first (of many, so many!) brief rises:

Doesn’t look terrible…

This was testing my bowl, however, because that doesn’t have the bulk of the flour in it yet. That’s the biggest bowl I have! Soon enough, though, it was beyond the bowl in that it needed to be kneaded (…don’t we all. *sigh*).

There will be bagels.

I didn’t use all the flour required by the recipe and it came together much quicker than I anticipated. For a moment, I was super anxious–but then I remembered my choice to use whole wheat flour. I guess that could account for the unanticipated texture.

The recipe also says that the dough should pass the “windowpane test.” Now, I’ve watched enough baking shows to know what that means, but not enough, apparently, to having a frickin’ clue how to look for that or how to know what I’m looking for. So, just picture me arbitrarily lifting dough up to my face for no purpose.

I then divided the dough into 4.5-ounce balls.

And guess what? I got twelve! For the first time, I actually got the right number!

I’m so proud.

Brief rise!

Hidden away, beneath a damp cloth.

Next, shape ’em to look like bagels. Like the ones you see in magazines.

You’re beautiful, you naked bastards.

This dough “roped” better than my disastrous braided challah. This part was also very fun. Time again for another brief rise. And then, brand new to me, a “float test.” I had to drop a bagel into a bowl of water. If it floated, it meant my bagels were ready for the fridge. If not, they needed more proofing time.

Survey says…!

It’s a witch! …wait, that’s the wrong test.

Into the fridge with my ready-to-rest bagels.

Sleep well, my pretties.

The next morning, after warding off a migraine, I got to Part Two of this recipe. For reasons I may understand someday, I’ve been watching Hbomberguy’s Donkey Kong 64 stream from January 2019, so I put that on and got the water boiling.

This makes for a very sweaty time in the kitchen, FYI.

Because I have only one pot, and not a very big one at that, I had to boil all twelve bagels one by one… It took an inordinately long amount of time. But eventually, they were all boiled and ready for the oven.

But you can’t just leave them. Noooo. After standing over the stove, boiling them one by one (1 minute per side–so 24 minutes, minimum), you bake them for 5 minutes, then rotate and switch shelves before turning the temperature down a bit and then baking another 5 minutes. Nonsense. But successful!

You high-maintenance bagels, you.

And amazing. These are sooooooo good. I can eat them without anything on them, no cream cheese, no nothing. The texture is perfection. I nailed this one.

I’m pleased. And look at the cute cloth napkin my mom made me.

To the next bake—–>